Bad News Trevills Quick
I'VE JOOST HAD A LETTER FAE "NESSIE"
WHA LIVES AS YOU KNOW 'OWER THE SHEUGH',
SEYIN, WHA'S THIS DAMN'T CAT, THE IMPUDENT BRAT,
BOYS, OUL 'NESSIE' WUS KICKIN UP ROUGH.
NESSIE SEYS, NOO, DINNAE YOU THINK ,
I'M JOOST RISIN A STINK,
I'M SWEEMIN‚ HERE NEARLY IN TEARS,
AN‚ I'M NAW JOOST RANTIN‚ ABOOT SOME CAT IN A PLANTIN‚
I'VE BEEN SCARRIN‚ THE FOLK HERE FOR YEARS.
FOR YEARS AT MAE PRANKS I HAE SCARR'T VISITIN‚ YANKS,
WHUN I STUCK MAE HEID OOTAE THE WATTER,
THEY PEEL'T ELBAS AN SHINS AS THEY TORE THROUGH THE WHINS,
ACH! BOYS I LACH'T WHUN I SA' THEM AL'SCATTER.
NOO NESSIE'S THE NAME AN' ELUSIVES THE GAME.
AT JOOKIN' I CLAIM AL' THE FAME,
WHUN THEY AL' THINK I'M DEID, I JOOST STICK UP MAE HEID,
AN' START THE HALE BIZZNESS AGAIN.
TELL YOUR CAT I'M AGGREIVED, AYE JOOST A BIT PEEVED,
WEE IMPUDENT BUNNEL O' FUR,
TELL THON CUR "HOUL YER WHEESHT",
THERE JOOST YIN MYTHICAL BEASHT,
CLEAR AFF OR I'M COMIN O'ER .
by 'Nessie's Cousin Bessie'
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